Most people think you go into hospital to rest up, this is a widely held misconception. The worst place in the world to rest is a hospital. Having stayed in many hospitals, I have learned that hospitals give you a bed, but they aren't really meant for sleeping. Beds are just for looks really. There are war zones and jumping night clubs that are quieter and have less activity going on than your average hospital. And the hospital may fix whatever problem you came in with, but chances are good that you will leave with a sleep deprivation related mental illness or black under eye circles so bad that you could put a panda to shame.
During the day you can't rest because of the endless stream of people coming in and out of your room. Let me give you a rundown of today, Sunday, a 'quiet' day to illustrate this point. My first visitor barges in a little after 7 am to bring fresh water. Then someone came in to ask what I wanted for breakfast. He leaves and then reenters to bring the requested breakfast foods. Then a nurse came into give me my morning round of IVs. Then the breakfast person came back to ask if I wanted coffee or tea. Then a nurse or nursing student came in to do my observations (blood pressure, oxygen levels and temp). Then someone came in to collect my breakfast tray. Then a cleaner came in. After she cleaned the bathroom, she left and then came back in with more gear to clean the room. Then the nurses came in to change my bedding. Then the coffee/tea lady came in to ask if I wanted a late-morning tea. Then lunch arrived. Then the lunch person came back to ask if I wanted coffer or tea. Then the lunch person came back to collect my tray. Then a nurse came in to take my obs again. Then my friends came to visit me, which was good! Then the nurse came in to give me my afternoon IVs. Then someone came in to ask if I wanted tea or coffee and afternoon snack. Then the nurse came back to unhook me from the IV and flush my line. Then a lady came in to bring me more fresh water. The a nice man came in to ask if I wanted a paper. Then the cleaning lady came back to take out the trash. Then someone brought dinner. Then she came to ask if I wanted coffee or tea. Then Alastair came to hang out. Then the lady came back to collect my dinner tray. Then a lady came into do my obs and ask if I had taken my medicines. Then after an hour or so alone with Alastair, the nurse came in to give me my evening IVs. While the nurse was giving me my IVs another nurse came in to ask her a question. Then around 11 pm, the assault on my room finally ended.
Oh, and because it is a 'quiet' Sunday, I didn't get visits from the doctor, the physio, the CF nurse, the pharmacist, the phlebotomist or dietician.
And what about a nap between all these visits, I hear you ask. Well, sometimes there is a whole period of 5.7 minutes when someone is not coming in and there is possibility of a micro-nap. I would have happily taken a few micro-naps if it weren't for the drilling that has been going on for the last few days. That's right, drilling. I am not talking about a little bit of drilling noise coming from somewhere far away. The drilling was so loud that I kept half expecting a giant drill bit the size of a small care to come busting through my wall at any moment.
And sleeping at night, well, it's no problem as long as I am not bothered, among other things, by the loud beeping that reverberates through the hallway after some sick person hits their nurse call button instead of dragging their sick selves out of bed and tracking down a nurse. Patients today are so selfish. Geez.
I'd write more, but for some reason I am incredibly tired and seem to be developing a nervous tick....
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