Havin' a ball

Modern medicine is cool. Thanks to modern medicine I can easily do my IV antibiotics at home or on the go. The home health care company delivers my medicines pre-made in individual doses, which come in little balls. The balls have some sort of internal compression device so you just hook yourself up and then the ball deflates as the medicine is infused. The balls are small and portable so they are easy to stick in your pocket and go.

They are nifty, but sometimes you feel like a junkie carrying your stash in your pocket. Once I was on IVs when I started a new job and no one ever noticed. I would sneak off to a stall in the bathroom to flush my line and hook up the infusion balls. I was sure at least one of the doctors/scientists I worked with would notice my frequent trips to the bathroom or the plastic tubing running from my jacket sleeve to my pocket,  but they never did.

As much as I love my balls (wow, wouldn't that be so much funnier if I was a dude?), there is one drawback - you can't just whip 'em out and use them at any time.  The drugs need to be kept in the fridge and taken out at least two hours before use so that they can warm up. This is where I get it wrong sometimes, as my memory is not always great, I don't remember to take my drugs out two hours beforehand. Fear not though, there is a solution to this problem.  The answer lies in having a really nice partner who likes sticking things down his or her pants (trousers for you Brits).  Now I don't have any research to prove it, but I suspect that boys make better ball warmers than girls. Boys tend to be warmer and are more used to having random bulges in their pants.

Luckily, I have a kind husband who is willing to help out in an IV ball warming crisis. And you had better believe that I never tire of asking him:  Do you have an IV infusion ball down your pants, or are you just happy to see me?